30 Apr 2012

where else

We start from the end
We gotta start somewhere
Since we finished
Since we are done
We gotta start
Here
We gotta move again
Soon
Or else we'll die
Or else we died
Or else you killed me
Or else I ate you
Or else we cried
Or else we fought
Or else we lost, we lost, we lost

Mars et crève

J'ai apprit a me relever plus vite
des coups manqués de Mars
le guerrier
Je sais que ce n'est que l'envie de dominer
qui l'anime
un besoin d'arrêter les élans chez moi
qu'ils trouvent si attirants pourtant.
A présent je peux reconnaitre, esquiver, être frappée, rigoler
l'espace d'un soupir,
joyeuse.
Fais-moi-s-en de plus belles!
J'te connais, vieux!

J'ai apprit a ne plus regretter les caresses
manquées 
Ne plus manquer les rendez-vous mal donnés
ne plus attendre le souffle court l'attention réflective
du narcisse avare de compliments
il n'en a jamais assez
et finit toujours par nous étrangler, nous engloutir tous les deux
haletants et perdus,
les mains vides,
les bras ballants,
la tête lourde et sonnée
cloche brisée
résonnant de tout ce rien.

Voila tout 
ce qu'il nous a laissé a toi et moi,
Narcisse
avant de s'acheminer a nouveau
vers d'autres amants en fleur,
ceux qu'il préfère bien,
pour manger l'écho de leurs coeurs a eux
et les murmures de leurs heures communes.
Il se nourrit de la tendresse autrui
il mache il mache et s'achemine une fois finit.
Tout ce qu'il veut c'est mâcher de plus belle
et sucer encore l'amour
de deux âmes bientôt en peine
qui le remercieront, pourtant,
de les avoir libérées au fond.
Et s'en iront vers de nouveaux horizons,
seules.

La femme artiste doit si souvent se confronter a la peur que l'homme a de sa créativité.
A moins qu'elle ne soit hors de son atteinte et qu'il la considère comme muse.
S'il l'aime, si elle est sienne ou tout comme, il ignorera les fruits de son imagination, le rythme perturbant des pulsations de ses visions.
La femme doit apprendre a arroser son propre jardin et le protéger du regard jaloux de son époux.
La femme doit apprendre qu'elle n'est plus uniquement
femme a manger
femme a ranger
femme a aimer
femme a baiser
Elle doit apprendre a s'aimer
toute seule
dans le silence des miroirs
et de l'horizon si noir
sans fléchir
ni trop réfléchir pourquoi
elle doit continuer a créer
pour créer
pour ça.
S' échapper des doigts qui l'attirent par plaisir
tout en poussant racine jusqu'au firmament.




27 Apr 2012

and miss

The heat and miss sticks to my throat
Today again
Like yesterday
Still

19 Apr 2012

a nous deux




elle se blottie dans son cou
tandis ce qu'il se prepare
de nouveau
a la guerre
lui sussure-t-elle des insultes
ou des saintes prieres?

two

Mon Zaze

J'ai embrassé l'anarchie
et brisé mon coeur de toutes mes forces.
Il miroite a présent
comme une rose des sables de tessons de bouteille

10 Apr 2012

in my Burrough

in my burrough
dans mon territoire
on ne fait pas de salade
on broie du noir.

a naked lunch is natural to us
we eat reality sandwiches
but allegories are so much lettuce
don't hide the madness :

the beginning & the end

a beginning has no end, beginnings have no end.

Nor is there any thing more astonishing more touching & more disturbing, than these efforts of the human spirit to break through darkness towards the light, through what is meaningless, towards a meaning, to break its way through the servitude which necessity imposes, towards freedom. Man measures his powers with the universe, and in the act of knowing seeks to rise above the limiting conditions and the solid massiveness of the world.
He can recognize light, meaning, and freedom for the sole reason that light, meaning, and freedom are there within his very self.

(...)

I want to survey all problems in the light of eschatology, in the light which streams
from the end.

and to look for the darkness that streams from the end?
I found the well I felt groping
I'm going back to the blues
Because it feels good

upset the inkpot

Gentleman- You know perfectly well the human body soaks up rain like a sponge. Put your raincoat on.

(they each put a black gabardine raincoat)

Lady- Why are these gabardines so black? Once they were green, or yellow, I forget.

Gentleman- I upset the inkpot over them. Even with the pumice stone, I couldn't get the stains out. Then, so they wouldn't be noticed, i gave both the coats a complete soaking in ink. Perhaps it's because of these gabardines that everything looks to you so dark, so black.

(the lady & the gentleman open their umbrellas, also black, they are both trotting along & sheltering from the rain)

the tree of tongues

vents contraires le bercent
il a faim

je ferme les yeux forts
et crie

la monstre

If she were not I
I'd say she's a monster
Because she's an I
I know she's a monster

Looking on the pavement
For signs symbols & fates
Fata fatina te
Fatina Fatta te

Crickets & wild murmurs
Marked the sleep of childhood
Today she's jittery
Can't find peace
Can't find peace

If she'd made a pact in the night
in the sleep of her reason
Would she know it today?
Would she tell herself now?

Woke up just before dawn
Thoughts wide open like a
lie.
In bed she turned there in silence

Images. It is them.

Faces. Smiles. Words & thoughts.
A million battles fought
Never war won.


It was all. C'etait tout.

That will be all, thank you.

dormir les yeux ouverts



tu t'es arrete de parler
et seul le silence t'as repondu
et ces mots, ces millions, ces milliers
de mots qui se sont arretes dans ta gorge,
ces mots sans suite,
les cris de joie, les mots d'amour, les rires idiots,
les cris de joie, les mots d'amour, les rires idiots,
quand donc les retrouveras-tu?
Maintenant tu vis dans la terreur du silence
mais n'es-tu pas le plus silencieux de tous?

les monstres sont entres dans ta vie.

Grey Ah Kay PPP

Grey Ah
Kay PPP
If I don't speed up
il me rattrapera

he/it will catch me up

drag my feet under its breath
where I will suffocate
& stay alive for as long as
forever
there is no end
until a new beginning
if i never scream
i will never find it
never fight it
never get it

just there behind the door
the negative of all that moves
sat here on my lap
& grabbing at my neck

can you hear it it's just there
just here i said
look
why don't you look
it's eaten you

9 Apr 2012

Mouth to Mouth Illuminations

Has the beat begun?

The beat and soul
Have to begin for us to find love
the beat & soul
have to resound for something to happen
Pharaoh come back!
Pharaoh come back!
Patti come back!
Antonio come back!
Allen come back!
Louise cooooooooome back!
Albert, Albertine, Zazie
Carmelo, P.P, L.F
Blaise, Charles, Arthur,
Come Baaaaack!

Let us mooooove
in another dimension

I am staaaaaaarved of the other directions
I hurt my ears playing radio too loud searching for all the messages
Give me Soul my soul is screaaaaaaming
Ah yes pour it all over my slashed head
Let it bubble with joy & hope & spurt oceans of blood & rhythm pounding up from my rubber heart

Am I all alone?
Is there anybody heeeeeeeeeere?
Run come take me
But let me freeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Like acrobats' elegant impossible saults around death & machinery

I want to reinvent the rope & tight walk of warrior steps' muscled legs I am ready for the steps
Ready for the step steps
Dance my dear dance

How beautiful to love and not possess
Alone I say
I feel the thousand hands of brothers & sisters

“Welcome to the other side, ma soeur”
Thank you sorella! I feel good here.

To shape our every wish with the colours of others visions and yours and yours and yours
E quando dipende da noi, obedire. To decide, when it doesn't depend on us, and when it does, obey.

A perpetual dialogue irruption rephrase recomprehension intuition explosion jubilation reconsideration illumination from mouth to mouth

mouth to mouth illuminations Yes!

Inverted Odysseys take us to where the grain was good
and the wheat too
where we water our eyes with the light of love
I see it man
I can see there is love in this frame, and that one too, and irreverence, and grace, and Power and resolution

So much power the crows stole it Ah!
They so fast
They so hungry
They so angrrrrrrrry
We can fly

But we be aaaaaaaangry too
we more relevent
we more eloquent
Here's to you, Foo!

Pasque Pasquetta

There are fools who have seen the madonna and fools who never have seen the madonna. I myself am a fool who has never seen the madonna. All is there: to see the madonna, or not to see her. San Giuseppe da Copertino, guardian of pigs, made his wings whilst looking after his own clumsiness. And in the nights of prayer he would gain the altars of the virgin, mouth open, flying. Fools who see the madonna have improvised wings, they can even fly, rest on the ground, like a feather. Fools who do not see the madonna do not have wings. Negated to flight, they fly nonetheless, then instead of resting they fall back like someone with lead around their ankles wanting to get rid of it, deciding to cut his own feet and dragging himself towards saviour under the scorn of the guardians who rightly trust his imminent hemorrhage to stop him. But those who see, do not see that they see, those who fly are themselves, the flight. Who flies does not know oneself, a done miracle annihilates them, more than seeing the madonna, they are themselves the madonna they see. This is the ecstasy of a paradoxical demented identity which empties the orator of his subject and in exchange deceives him to the objectification of his self, into another object. (...) being saint is to loose control, to renounce weight, and weight is to measure one's own dimension. (...) who has never thought of death, might be immortal. (...) But the fools who see the madonna do not see her. Like two eyes staring at two eyes through a wall, a miracle is transparency, sacrament is this madness, because a blinding faith has shut these eyes. (...) And the eyes saw sight. A glance. Either man is so blind, or god is objective. The fools who see, see in a vision of themselves, with the variants which faith brings: if worm, they see themselves butterfly again, if puddle, clouds, if sea sky. And in front of this alter ego they kneel as if in front of God. They confess to a second sin. Divine is everything they have unconsciously learned of themselves. They have seen the Madonna. Saints. The fools who do not see the madonna hate themselves, they seek elsewhere, in their neighbour, in women- in the comfort of day to days of prayer- and this brings to a myriad of altars. Passionate of communicative, they do not bring God to others to receive themselves, they bring themselves to others to receive God. Humility is the prime condition. Our contemporaries are stupid, but to bow down at the feet of someone more stupid than them means to pray. This is how we pray today. As always. Keeping company with the more talented does not mean nearing oneself to the absolute no matter what. To be kinder than the kind. To finally be the biggest fool. Religion is an ancient word. For now let us call it education.


(Carmelo Bene, from Our Lady of the Turcs, my own translation)

8 Apr 2012

all let go

J'écris je m'écries je cré ce cri desesperé de faiblesse. J'essaye de trouver la clé de perte. L'accord d'abandon. La note de séparation, sel dans les yeux.

And so it starts

Il est une affection des choses non advenues
Il est la comprehension du destin et the escape du reve des autres ou du reve ou nous tentons d'emprisoner certains
La vie vie son train
nous ecrivons
la vie bat son pouls
nous recevons
la vie chante
nous fredonons

Let it all go

The woman sat with her unborn child on her lap and stroke his head. Where was it to take her, this path? The child would know. The child would show her. But he is not here, and so there is no child, just paper, and black marks.

If sadness felt better it is because it is true. Lies inside make us uneasy and complicated. How delicate is that.

Cette langue me tue. Eh ben tire la!

She pulled the tongue of the cat that had got her love. And threw it away in the dirt, so it could grow into a tree of tongues and sway in the wind making bizarre voices. Scary to some, soothing to others, there for sure.

Love cometh and leaveth away
it started to howl...
or maybe Love comes and takes everything...
it howled on the hill.

Masol

L'amour est masochiste. Ces cris, ces plaintes, ces douces alarmes, cet état d'angoisse des amants, cet état d'attente, cette souffrance latente, sous-entendue, a peine exprimée, ces mille inquiétudes au sujet de l'absence de l'être aimé, cette fuite du temps, ces susceptibilités, ces sautes d'humeur, ces rêvasseries, ces enfantillages, cette torture morale ou la vanité et l'amour-propre sont en jeu, l'honneur, l'éducation, la pudeur, ces hauts et ces bas du tonus nerveux, ces écarts de l'imagination, ce fétichisme, cette précision cruelle des sens qui fouillaient et qui fouillent, cette chute, cette prostration, cette abdication, cet avilissement, cette perte et cette reprise perpétuelle de la personnalité, ces bégaiements, ces mots, ces phrases, cet emploi du diminutif, cette familiarité, ces hésitations dans les attouchements, ce tremblement épileptique, ces rechutes successives et multipliées, cette passion de plus en plus troublée, orageuse et dont les ravages vont progressant, jusqu'à la complète inhibition, la complète annihilation de l'âme, jusqu'à l'atonie des sens, jusqu'à l'épuisement de la moelle, au vide du cerveau, jusqu'à la sécheresse du coeur, ce besoin d'anéantissement, de destruction, de mutilation, ce besoin d'effusion, d'adoration, de mysticisme, cet inasouvissement qui a recours a l'hyperirritabilite des muqueuses, aux errances du goût, aux désordres vaso-moteurs ou périphériques et qui fait appel a la jalousie et a la vengeance, aux crimes, aux mensonges, aux trahisons, cette idolâtrie, cette mélancolie incurable, cette apathie, cette profonde misère morale, ce doute définitif et navrant, ce désespoir, tous ces stigmates ne sont-ils point les symptômes mêmes de l'amour d'après lesquels on peut diagnostiquer puis tracer d'une main sure le tableau clinique du masochisme?

(extrait de Moravagine, Blaise Cendrars)

4 Apr 2012

le silence est d'or

and not a word spoke the goldfish in answer,

it just swished its tail, and in silence

disappeared in the depths of the ocean.






il dort,

alors je me tais.